Offerings - Jennifer Brukiewa

Celery shade, soft and pale
Laces the willow, a feathery veil
Her offering for spring

Lilacs longing our spirits to please
With aromatics sweet release
Her offering for spring

Chives have risen, thyme is greening
Herbs which flavor life are bringing
Their offering for spring

Within the rose cane flows a river
Sustaining fluid stirs to give
Her offering for spring

Surrounded by the Resurrection
beckoning our heart's reflection
The Offering of Spring

Delphiniums - By Megan Brukiewa

Oh Delphiniums won't you please
Come on out and rest with me
In Spring instead of Summer light?

When God Asks...

I never go to Sunday School.

But, this past Sunday as I was looking for a quiet place to sit and read I passed by the Sunday School classroom and heard our pastor’s voice. I decided to sneak in because I respect him and thought it might be good.

Part of the discussion was centered on Genesis 22, the story of Abraham and Isaac going to Mt. Moriah where Isaac was to be sacrificed. I’ve never understood this story, never liked it and because of that I generally give it a cursory read, jump to the ending with the ram in the thicket, think happy thoughts about Jesus and move on. But many non-Christians and even Christians asked me about this when I was a pastor and I was stumped. I’d put them off by trying to get them to sidestep to the ram like I did. “See, God didn’t let Abraham go through with it, He provided the ram so it’s all good and Jesus loves you.”

But it was not all good. The issue is that God actually did command Abraham to kill his son. Isaac, a human being, was to be sacrificed and this was at the command of the same God that I want to believe is gracious, loving, kind etc. Not to mention that Isaac is the fulfillment of the promise God made to Abraham to multiply his descendents. So God seems to be going counter to all that He is. He is breaking His promise, His own covenant. It doesn’t matter that the story has a happy ending; God still creates this situation where Abraham is wrestling with His command for three days.

I see this as a different category than Job’s suffering. At least with Job I can look at it and see that God didn’t “cause” the suffering he went through. God withdrew His hand of protection or blessing for a time and Satan had a field day with Job. I don’t like that but there’s no rule that says God has to always protect and bless so I’m ok with the story being in my Bible. Genesis 22 on the other hand doesn’t seem to fit. I literally wanted to take a sharpie and black out the story. It seems to show a God who’s character is at least flawed if not entirely cruel.

I talked to Pastor Doug after class about my struggles. Verse one says that God was “testing” Abraham, Abraham shows that he is faithful and God reaffirms the covenant. Ok, I’m good with that understanding of Ancient Near East Covenant reaffirmation. But I can’t get past the fact that God still commands this horrible, outrageous thing. I told Doug that at least on the surface it looks like this is simply a passage about cutting the feelings out of our obedience, just do what God says, don’t ask questions, it’s not personal, just do it. Obey regardless the cost. If that’s the point of the story then the cost here is much more than Isaac’s life. The cost is my belief in a God who loves. The cost is that I now must believe in a God who may test me even at risk to His very character, or at least the character that I think He has.

As I wrestled with this it was time for the worship service so I joined my family in our balcony seat. I found myself not willing to sing any of the songs until I read each word to be sure I agreed. And then I sort of sang them with reluctance; out of the side of my mouth. I found myself asking and being skeptical about each line. “God, are you loving? Are you kind? Do you care about me? Did you really care about Isaac?” The end still did not justify the means.

Finally I let myself express to God what was really in my heart. “God, I’m angry that You did this. Not just angry, I’m outraged. You went against Your own character, Your Law! You damaged Abraham, probably scarred Isaac for life and probably have driven countless seekers away from You as they get to this story in the Bible. God! I hate this story!”

I don’t remember what the sermon was about because this conversation or tirade was going on in my head the whole time. I was letting God have a piece of my mind.

Then I heard God ask me a question.

In the midst of my outrage, when it reached it’s pinnacle He said to me “David. You are outraged that I have done this, that’s good. It’s an outrageous command. You are angry with me that I would put Abraham through this even though in the end I stopped the knife and spared Isaac. You see this as a great scandal and it is.” And in my heart I began to scream all the louder “GOD! If that’s true then WHY!!!?” And He answered my question with one of His own “Where is your outrage at My sacrifice? I did not withhold the knife from My own Son. I did not wrestle for three days with the possibility of losing My Son, I actually lost Him for three days! Where is your outrage? Why do you not see that scandal?”

I had put myself into the story as Abraham and so I couldn’t understand it. But I’m not Abraham, I’m Isaac. But in the story Isaac is innocent, I’m not. In the story it’s just a ram. An animal sacrifice for a human life is a good trade (PETA might disagree but I’ll take that anyday). The reality is that the ram is Christ. Righteous sacrificed for unrighteous. Innocent given over for the guilty. How could I be so outraged at this story and not at the much greater scandal of the Gospel? How have I taken the Gospel for granted, simply as part of the character of God. I have treated the Gospel like my mother saying “I love you”. She’s supposed to say that. God is supposed to do this.

But my reaction to the Gospel on Sunday became “My God! What have You done!”

And then it was time for communion.

I suppose what is important to me is the Gospel. Not the trite motherly “I love you” but the real Gospel. I so want to be taken deeper by it, and I want others to be drawn deeper too. The cross has become a cultural icon so that people wear it as though it’s a pretty ornament, jewelry to accessorize my outfit. Christians put fish or crosses on their business cards as if to say “if you’re a Christian you have to deal with me because I’m a Christian too”. Preachers talk about the Gospel in context of an altar call as though we need cleansing to “get in” but then they quickly hand us a list of distracting things that make us forget the cross.

The Gospel is the air I breathe. Anything less smothers me. Anything mixed in poisons me. I received a full dose on Sunday and it has changed me again. I can’t go back.

Pleasing To God

1 Timothy 2:1-3

Paul starts with a "therefore" that goes back to the previous chapter where the real battle is not against rulers in the world but against false doctrines. And these doctrines being taught by teachers who "don't know what they are talking about or what they so confidently affirm." So even the false teachers are not the "enemy" it's the wrong teachings. Paul writes to Timothy with the purpose of uniting the church in love, correcting the false doctrines and urging the church to live in peace.

Today my prayer is for Barack Obama, that God might grant him wisdom to lead through these very difficult times. My prayer is that God will direct his steps away from foolish ideas and away from foolish advisors. I pray that he will be surrounded not only by men and women who uphold righteousness but also by the Holy Spirit. And I pray for our country to continue to be used by God as an agent of justice in the world. More than that, I pray that we will see a new day of peace soon.

Lord may President Obama be tough when the situation calls for it. May he be decisive when necessary. And make him humble and merciful when it is possible.

Cynicism or Realism?

I had the marvelous opportunity of spending time with one of my mentors and friends today for lunch. Ed Chinn (www.edchinn.com) called me this morning to say he was in town.

Ed is one of those people who speaks perspective into my life like few others. He laughs in the face of world events, not because he doesn't care about them but because God laughs and he has God's perspective. And he seems to have a faith that implicitly knows God is in control whereas mine seems to be captive to the whims of circumstance.

Ed isn't a cynic but one of the things he said today had to do with the reality that institutions that rise up to battle injustice will always end up depending on the continuation of the very injustice they fight. For example, the American Cancer Society depends on the fact that cancer continues to be pervasive. Should cancer be defeated, the ACS would cease to have a purpose.

Now, that's not to say that fighting cancer is not a noble cause or that anyone in dark smoke filled rooms at ACS headquarters is secretly funding the disease, but expand this to other realms and you find a troubling truism.

I'll start with one of my own causes. The fight against abortion. I believe babies have a right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness guaranteed under our constitution. More than that, I believe that babies are made in the image of God and as such ought not to be killed for the pleasure of a more comfortable life for a mother or father. I understand that there are (few and far between) times when the life of a mother may be at stake and diffitult choices need to be made. Still, the comfort of a young mother or her parents seem to result in far too many babies being killed in this nation. And our recently elected president calls babies a "punishment". Just so we're clear, I'm against abortion.

But Ed made a brilliant point when he called out the fact that so many Christians consider voting for a Democrat to be anathema because of this one issue. The fact is that since Roe V. Wade was decided we've had 25 years of Republican presidents who have done little or nothing about this issue. So, why do we consider Republicans to hold any kind of moral superiority on this? As Ed said "The dirtly little secret is that Republicans need the abortion issue to solidify the base voters." That means that if abortion went away, what issue would Republicans easily be able to use?

On the Democrat side, Democrats need the poor to continue being poor. For over 40 years the Dems have been fighting the "war on poverty" and it frankly isn't being won. When there are poor neighborhoods, it's easy for a politician to go there and stir up the base with promises.

In the same way the Rainbow/Push coalition needs racism to continue in America. The NRA needs anti-gun legislators. Labor unions need "stingy" bosses. Fundamentalists need immorality.

I have yet to hear of a charter for an organization that includes a clause giving the conditions whereby that organization will no longer be necessary.

When this little piece of realism hits home I begin to see how organizations may rise up to fight a good fight against an immoral or unjust foe, but be a little careful. Don't get swallowed up and taken in as the power brokers will do what needs to be done to maintain their power.

Ministry Again?

In my time with God this morning I thought it appropriate to spend time in Galatians since this is "Reformation Sunday".

No longer under the supervision of the law. Gal 3:25

I’m relating this to the supervision of a parent. Growing up in my house I knew that my parents would always provide what I needed. That’s what parents are supposed to do. I was under their supervision and they had to take care of me. Today I am on my own. Not that my parents aren’t available for advice or input, but they don’t live here. I’m the parent now.

There’s a comfort to the law like that of my parents provision for me. It’s safe. It’s predictable. Though I may not have had the freedom I have now I had the security of their covering. Without the law what will rein in my fleshy desires? Without the fear of punishment what prevents me from running wild?

But this morning as I read Galatians again I see that to operate under the law is to bastardize the purpose of the law. The law is supposed to lead me to Christ where I am then justified by faith. So why do I prefer the security of the law to the freedom of Christ? Why do I find myself wishing that God would just tell me what to do?

Currently I feel that God wants me to move off of the balcony and back into some kind of service. We help with IHN at our church and last night we helped a friend lead worship at his church. These are rewarding opportunities. Yet I can’t help but feel that God is calling me to something more. I don’t know what it might be and so far as I pray for God to tell me his answer seems to be “what do you want to do?”

And my response is still “I’m not sure”. I know that I don’t want several nights of the week taken up with meetings.

“Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.” Maybe it’s not as difficult as I make it. Maybe what we are doing right now is exactly what we are supposed to do. Perhaps the Spirit doesn’t reveal tomorrow’s plans until tomorrow.

Ministry? (Dave)

Well, it's been three years since we've been in "formal" ministry. We took a year off from church completely and have been attending Holy Cross Lutheran for the past two years. Recently Jen and I have both been feeling like it's time to do more than sit in the balcony.

A friend of mine leads worship for another church and has asked us to help him out tomorrow. We're looking forward to it. Secretly I'm glad it's for a different church because it takes the pressure of diving into some kind of committment away. We can help and we don't have to feel obligated to something week after week. Plus, nobody from our church will know that we've volunteered so we won't have to wrestle with that either.

This feels somewhat selfish to me but frankly I don't care right now.